Saturday, June 25, 2011

Airborne!


Okay it is 4.18 am, i mean i used to be awake so late on those days when i used to catch those early morning flights, and those immigration guys would grope you with so many questions when you are literallly walking in your sleep in the airport.
There came a point last year when I started dreading boarding flights, i wouldnt take the window seat after a series of heavy turbulent hit flights , going to Bangalore ain't easy, neither it is to any other south-eastern ports. Neway there are some moments in our flights or airports which stay with us for a long time, some which help us change our perception towards people, at times life, some which makes us see newer side of us.
One of the best moments of my life was to sleep over at Hannover airport at Germany, a small town which is called the exhibition city of Germany. They are not connected with any international flights to India, so basically one has to catch a flight to either Munich or Frankfurt before they can think of Mumbai. So here I was after a go see of one of the most history rich city in the world, Berlin, that too all alone and making my way to Hannover Flughafen(airport). I searched for hotels and the beautidul lady at the reception of the Maritime hotel, the hotel next door to the airport was charging me 115 euros for 6 hours. Alas, there is some marwari-ness in me that wakes up whenever I am out of country and my calculator runs faster than my thoughts. No way on this planet would i pay Rs 6900 for a room, though i had a booking in a hostel i couldn't manage to find it and the fact that I really couldnt have paid for a business class ticket for Lufthansa if i over slept made sure that i stayed back at the airport.
As a business class passenger you can always enter an airport 24 hours prior to the flight, now does everyone know that? I do. So i stepped in at Hannover at 10 pm and entered the airport with my hughe backpack which was loaded with loads of candy packets, wine bottles, a bottle of water, clothes and hordes of files and notebooks. I felt every eye on that airport was on me because i was the only one seated on the departure terminal. Just to make myself feel comfortable I went and sat at the arrival terminal and i saw last three flights coming in till 2 am, thats when the last flight comes in and the airport entirely shuts its operations. Trust me i havent seen a sight like that, entire family came to pick up their sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, gf's coming to pick their bf's and friends coming along, at 2 am..dozed in sleep but people came in hordes. Not a single passenger, mark my word not a single soul left his sole alone.
Everyone came hugged, kissed, those bright and broad smiles, i couldnt stop but tell myself , what a moron you are, which world do we live in , nobody ever comes to either drop me or pick me. Yah my mom does, Neha did and yes of course Sree does at times. I think he is the only person who takes so much pain for his friends, we are talking about a different breed here. Rest, naah never.
And finally after checking around the entire hannover airport, all emergency exit maps, all the different washrooms, the confectionary store, the swaroski store, and what not i was so hungry i ate the rest two pizza bites left over which i had bought in the morning and slept off.
It was like exactly a scene outta movie, I heard commotion some random jewish words, the noise of the wooden card plates changing every second, those wooden planks which shows flight details, the ones which were used ages back in Mumbai airport, I had seen them as a kid. A woman pushed my bag off the chair to sit and i looked at my watch it was 5 am. I ran, checked in and jumped to the other corner of the airport , it was heaven--the business lounge, i had my oats and milk, lots of facebook, got ready, boarded the flight and reached Munich, again shopped got into my seat took a deep breath, had a glass of french wine and a movie on my screen, and I was ready to fly to Mumbai....the dream run was over!
Also, you can sneak in matchboxes in your handbag, wont tell you the secret though!!! No i didn't sneak in.Honestly!
Dont forget to tell me your experience, m listening!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Brand Mamata

Okie, Why I am writing this blog, because nothing else is making sense to me at this given point in time. This is a mere imagination and utter fiction so please don't land up at my door trying to break things, i have just started doing my home d├ęcor and trust me its expensive, so please don't come along to break anything, in case you want to sit on a “dharna” on my land parcel please feel free to do so, because my guard is on leave.

The topic here is the present chief minister of West Bengal, Ms. Mamata Banerjee, no neither did I vote for TMC or CPM, because i didn't want to be kicked by anyone, On her first day of service to the state, declared contribution of Rs 1 crore, that she raised by selling her paintings and would go to the state mini-fund.

Then dimag mey laddo futaa....and here are a few advertising campaign ideas that came to my peanut size brain. The land of joy is in a terrible condition when it comes to its finances, and it has a debt burden of whopping Rs 2lac crore, though a contribution of Rs 1 crore is well appreciated, a lot more could be brought in by Ms. Banerjee, herez how-

Glucon D—Tan ki shakti man ki shakti, Glucon D- The hurricane manner with which she works, the only thing people discuss in train, bus and “parar adda” (local gossip) is where she gets so much energy from? So a five year contract can easily fetch a few more crores.
My aunt actually expects me to ask her what does she eat or drink as supplements to gather that form and she calls me every second week to seek the answer. Trust me i really i want to be a journalist in Kolkata.

Ajanta Hawai- Didi, as commonly known dosen't wear any other footwear than “Hawai Chappals”, that is slippers. And she wears Ajanta Hawai's so I am sure, when every three person in four voted for Maa, mati and Manush (Mother, Soil and People's government), they will easily follow her brand of chappals. It could be considered for a long tenure contract, double digit crores!!!

Now my imagination is running too wild, so next is the sarees that she wears for her daily use. The sarees are from Dhonekhali, a small town in Nadia, which can easily be propagated as the next textile hub, though it is nothing in comparison to Tirupur, but wouldn't there be lakhs of women working on the Mati (soil-reference to farmers and small shop owners) who would love to adorn the sarees that their brand ambassador carries off! I can already see the pink notes!!!

She might have kicked Ratan Tata out, but she dosen't have any grudges against Hyundai. The first woman chief minister of West Bengal, now a days drives around in a Hyundai i10, remember the one Shah Rukh Khan advertises. In west bengal, nothing sells more than Mamata these days, i can very well feel that our finances are already on its recovery curve...

Rest, i-Phone and all, isn't that just too obvious that industrialists are showering their love and respect adequately and a little more philanthrophy wouldn't hurt us, ain't it?