Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Fairfax to acquire BB?kya bolti?

Dear Mr. Hyderabadi Biryani (Fairfax owner), 

tum kayeko kaliberri leni???unsold inventory kilo ke bhav me milti kya? fone leni toh leni tum humko wapas same price pe chipkati? Mera frendz mere pe hasti ki mai do do blackberry leke ghumti...BB hath me insult sath me...tum zara kuch change kayko nahi karti?10 percent holding se seedha private karti...jawabdari nahi leti...fukat me tum paisa waste karti..itna paisa hai toh hum garibo ko college jane ko paisey deti na...stupid!....ideas mangti humko puchti ...ye blackberry sidha uthake tumhare sir pe marti! stupid fone upar se mahinne ka adha salary kha jati...
Tumko malum hoti free mey bhi koi bb nahi leti, tum smart hoti toh dus taka bechke lungi uthake ijjat bajake ghar aajti....

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Matri-Mental


I just couldn’t stop myself from writing this one.

I love birthdays they are my favorite but with birthday comes the factor-so when is the bell ringing?

Which bell??? of-course the wedding bells , in my case it will be a gong than a small bell as I am the only candidate left for slaughtering. (people just cant digest happy single faces!)

So one fine day my mom went and paid a subscription amount to one of the largest wedding sites which recently opened a small office near my house. Let’s not do the name-game blame.
When my mom told me she has paid some Rs 4k for the same I was furious but as time passed, that website is the most entertaining platform off late.

Some people will come and comment on how you could write something like this or they might have copy right on what they write on the site. If I am violating IPR then my lawyer is available but trust me if this dosen’t make you laugh nothing will. —

These are some of the examples and trust me these are not even the best ones…they can be accessed for free so just have a gala time…

So these are taken from sections where the guy is supposed to write – partner preference or the kind of woman they would like to get married to and some are from the about me portions..

Here’s one--

“SHE MUST BE NATURAL(NOT TO USE TOO MUCH PERFUME, BODY SPRAY OR HIGH MAKE UP ALWAYS), ADJUSTABLE & STRONG-HARDY GIRL. I LIKE FLEXIBILITY ACCORDING TO THE SITUATION. I LIKE DUAL PERSONALITY GIRL. WHEN SHE TAKE CARE OF MY FAMILY AS A VERY GOOD, SHY GIRL, BUT WHEN SHE WITH ME AS A SOME BAD, HOT GIRL. SHE WILL DO TOO MUCH FUN-MASTI-PLEASURE & DOMINATE ON ME AS HER OWN WAY. I DON’T LIKE WEAK, POOR GIRLS.

Advantage for marry me: She must get a lifetime pleasure by me. I want to be very obedient of my wife & off course I love my wife more than me.”


Goes the next one---



“I am simple guy and i like also simplicity. I would like to visit Darjeeling that is wonderful in my life.”



This one is all for climate change—

”As I said I like nature very much, so, it's clear that I like to travel a lot to a nature oriented places. I like green nature very much. So, I have started a greenery in my garden. Though I am not a green thumb person, but I try.”

This is just a sneak peak for further entertainment go to one of the matrimonial portals :P