Wednesday, September 22, 2010

why do love to live deciphiring "in Hindsight"

Its 2 at night and every one is asleep which probably is the time for me to sit alone and relax and contemplate. but today I want to write….
I just finished watching the movie, “We are Family” yeay I know how much I didn’t want to watch it and oogled and laughed at people who did. But I didn’t have any choice, but that’s not the point.
I saw the movie, tearjerker but I was the last one to drop my precious tears for KJo.
while I was watching the movie, there was somewhere I could relate but not entirely.
kajol suffers from cervical cancer and dies…
I just have cervical disc prolapse and some more problem with my spinal cord’s rear three bones and one degenerating bone and of course I’m not dying so soon.

The reason I so strongly felt to blog this is because we sympathise, empathise whatever the word one wants to use..we cry, feel horrible when we come to know that some one is dying of cancer or any other terminal illness but have we ever thought about people who are living in pain every day, each and every moment of their existence.
There are so many diseases on this planet which dosen’t have any cure, and which people cant see but that dosent mean they aren’t going through excruciating pain. and they aren’t dying too soon also.

I don’t know how much my boss understands when I tell him that I have got back pain and a slip disc relapse, but he dosent make any face while giving me a day off. some of my colleagues don’t understand, someone remarked recently, “so how was ur holiday back home,” which came after the point that I was on bed rest for six months. I couldn’t walk or sit or even sleep with pain. Somewhere it dosent bother anymore to hear these comments.
why colleagues? while travelling in the train we push aside people, we stomp on each we ever realise that the person must be suffering from something.
When I stand for an hour in the train and if I don’t get a seat I curse people that they aren’t giving me a seat, but that’s not their fault too. I am sure someone must have done the same when I had a seat and they needed it badly.
Its just that it all dawns when we go through the same.
In movies, it ends with a “too soon” death sequence whereas in reality pain prolongs too long for the person to bear it with a smile.
When in the movie kajol goes alone to the doctor to hear that she has cancer, she cries.
I always go to my doctor all alone to hear that I still have to eat those five medicines each every afternoon and night, noone tags with me, noone is either interested to know whats on apart from my parents and a few friends or unless I post it on a facebook seeking attention at times.
otherwise who cares? had it been a cancer I’m sure I would have caught more eyeballs.

but isn’t this a fact that everyone is going to die one day, whether we want to face it or not…everyone’s soul will have to bid adieu, then why do we only bother more for people when we come to know they are going to leave, why cant we bother while they are alive?

whats the harm in caring and loving and behave well when it is still possible ?why do we wish to repent after the person is gone, why not make life more livable, beautiful and enjoyable while our engine is still on…why wait for the end and talk in hindsight? WHY?
Let me be clear I’m not seeking attention, its just I thought why cant we be better human beings while existing with no illness or before facing any dire situations…and not sympathise with people.
I love my ex-boyfriend for leaving me even after knowing that last year was the worst phase of my life and I am going through with serious health concerns and it will live with me for all my life and not sympathising with what I am going through.
So please do not sympathise, be nice and caring if you really want to be otherwise take ur face off the block.

Friday, September 3, 2010

walking the rope

Walking on a tight rope I realised I am all alone
noone to shout for none to look for
holding my breath I looked for you
but I realised even u are gone...balancing my walk I moved ahead
thousands of gaze motivating me to go dribble past the line
may be someone in d crowd has done dis before
someone somewhere was also hurt before
gathering my strength as I looked at the sky
the flying clouds waved goodbye
never thought wud be bidding u adieu eva
may be dats wat love means in today's era!